You may tire of me

close

2007-10-17T22:57:10Z

point in my livejournal?

none.

One last update tho??

My life is finally going on track.
I have a good job.
I have finally found out who my real friends are.
And I have found someone that makes me feel better about myself.

joda_la_autoridad@hotmail.com

if you wanna continue.

...if not.

goodbye

Final Act.

2007-09-22T05:09:21Z

My love

Death hath thy sucked the honey of thy breath hath had no power upon thy beauty

Thou are not conquered

Beautys ensign yet is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks

And deaths pale flag is not advanced there.

Dear sarah. why art thou so fair?

Shall I believe that unsubtantial death is amarous and keeps thee here in dark to be his paramour?

Here

O here will I set up my ever lasting rest

And shake the yolk of inauspicious stars from this world-wearied flesh.

Eyes....Look your last.

Arms...Take your last embrace.

And lips...

O you, the doors to breath,,,,
Seal with a rightous kiss....

A dateless bargain
To engrossing death

And thus

Without a kiss

I die

Forgot

2007-03-28T17:18:10Z

I feel....Maybe just okay

"Are you over her?"

2006-10-28T19:55:17Z

Is that all I'm really worth?
Is all I'm worth making other people happy?

Who's seriously cared for my feelings this entire time? Who said to themselves;
"I wonder if he's ok".
No one
Since day one I was the bad guy for trying to make myself happy.

For once in an entire year, i thought of myself, for once I put myself first, and all of a sudden, I'm selfish?
I think the most selfish thing was her thinking;
"how can he do this to me?"

For an entire year, I loved this girl un-conditionally, I pur her first, I never listened to people when they told me she was "too young", she "wasnt mature enough" that "it will end sooner or later, and it's better sooner rather than later".
But no, I thought of her, I didn't want to hurt her.
And after an entire year of putting myself second, I'm all of a sudden, a bad guy?

I didn't end it, she did, because she put herself first. [which i didn't blame her for]

But it's came to my attention, that most people would rather I lay in bed all day, crying, tearing my hair out, moping around feeling sorry for myself, waiting for her to take me back?
Aren't I worth more than that?

I don't care if it's selfish, or arrogance;
But I deserve to be fucking happy.

The biggest victim out of all of this has been Chelsea, because I've put her thru so much shit because of how I felt.
I felt so fucking un-loved, and un-wanted.
Second best to everyone.
And I have been so paranoid over Chelsea, incase it's the exact same with her.

I have 100% fallen for Chelsea.
And I really do love her.
And I'm going to put everything I have into making this relationship work with her.
And I'm so sorry for not treating her half as well as she deserves.

I'm not sorry for going out with Chelsea.
I'm not sorry for being happy, when I feel like I shouldn't.
I'm not sorry if your not happy for me.
Because that tells me exactly what you think of me.

I know Sarahs hurt.
I'm sorry she's hurt.
But I'm not going to make myself unhappy just because she's hurt.
Because I deserve to be happy.

asilent_youth @ 2006-10-08T00:03:00

2006-10-08T00:04:51Z

The other side is the same [minus the small fringe heh]

What do you all think?

Chad
xxxx

happy life II

2006-10-05T00:24:33Z

I've heared things that aren't really there
And I've looked down on rainbows
And smiled the dirty smile
Of A Silent Youth

I raced my tears to the bottom
And came out on top
While the peroxide foamed
And bleached the dirty smile clean

Now a new light provides the view
And the chemicals were alive
When ours faded to yours
When love provided the outcome

Thinking you said forever
I smiled the bright smile
But inside it hurt
Because forever isn't as long as I wanted

Now your stained on my arm
I wouldn't have had it any other way
In no fear of regret
I don't want to forget what forever was like

Now the starts glister brighter than forever
And the clean smile is the source
I will continue
This happy life I live

So much for "too soon"

2006-10-01T20:30:34Z

I'm happy with my new girlfriend.

I don't care if you all think the worst of me.
Facts are facts;
She dumped me.
I'm not, nor have I ever been prepared to sit around and cry over a girl and wait until she says it's ok for us to go back with each other.

Thing with me has been; one chance, you screw up, your out.
Not in a vain way.
In a "I don't want to get my heart broken repeatidly" way.

I haven't updated to tell you all about her yet, because I tried to spare a certain someones feelings.
Which was obviously a one way thing

So just know;
I'm happy.

And if we're friends
You should be happy for me too.

asilent_youth @ 2006-09-21T09:05:00

2006-09-21T08:21:46Z

I know most of you probably pass by journal really quickly without a second glance or thought of what my life is like right now;
And I don't blame you at all.
Thats why I've barely updated in months. That and the fact my life has been anything but harsh to me lately.
That is; until now.

The love you have for your first love is unlike anything you'll even begin to fathom.
Your so sure that you will spend the rest of your life with this person, you will stop at nothing to make sure it happens.
Days you don't see them feel so empty and unspent, and you litterally jump at any chance to see/speak to them, no matter what's going on at that exact moment.
They also make your problems seem to just, dissapear without even saying a word, like just seeing them is enough to drown all sorrows and make you forget why you were even angry/sad in the first place.

Well, maybe my view of "love" has been diluted with stories on television/books/movies.
But it did feel like someone else was writing this love story for me. I couldn't have dreamed that anything would've been so perfect for so long. But I guess everything that has a start has an end too. As painful as a realisation that was.

When your first love [view diluted or not] isn't there as much, it feels like you've been stabbed in the stomache and chest, you hurt all over and you don't want to hear nothing from no-one about it.
You just want to be alone, to self pity yourself and try to convince yourselves that everthing will be ok.
When all the time your sitting by yourself, self-pitying, trying to convince yourself, you just want to climb up to the top of the highest height and take a swan dive to the lowest low. Racing your tears to the bottom and spilling your guts along the way.
Trying to think of the fear of the sudden stop other than the fear of living one more second without your first love.

Maybe love doesn't exist. Maybe it's a false front to make your meningless existance mean something for even a short while.
Maybe it's not even that.

I've cried all I can cry and It doesn't hurt anymore.
I'm so numb I can't even feel sorry for anything, because it seems like nothing this bad has happened to anyone else in the entire history, even tho a lot worse has happened.
But it feels that way...

New new new Camera - !

2006-08-15T20:23:18Z

So I changed my camera before buying it.
This was a better camera for less money.

Enjoy the orgasmic viewing.

Good + Bad News

2006-08-11T23:30:22Z

Right.

So...I get my _new computer today - ! [yay]

It's so nice. It's my favourite-ist computer ever.
Even if it is taking me a ^milliondays to upload music. But in the end it will all be worth it.

But, KLICK sucks to the point where they screw up my bank details, badly screws them up.
So I don't get paid 2 months worth of work, that I am owed.

So they're not going thru until _Wednesday, and I have the bad feeling that somethings even going to go wrong there aswell.
So who knows when I'm getting my pretty little camera.

But spending a beautiful day with my beautiful girlfriend, who ^{completes me on every level imaginable}, helped me keep my cool and made me enjoy my day so much more.

And OMGZ at Yu Gi Oh.
Well exciting.

Tah Tah For Now

xxx

Angrrrr

2006-08-06T22:31:55Z

I miss my Sarah a bit TOO much.

And check it out.
I'm wanting [ and gonna get ] my new computer. It's a Packard Bell R1935.

And I'm wanting [ and gonna get ] this sweet ass camera; Panasonic DMCF27BS.

Yum.

And I'm gonna end my contract with KLICK a bit early.
This one old old old old old old bitch is doing my head in beyond the means of rationalisation.
Should have seen it coming tho...Her being a bitch. First time I met her, she asked me if I was a "cock stroker".

Well, she's been pissing me off for the past few weeks, but today took the biscuit a bit
She started off by LYING right to my face, saying I HAD to stand at the computer all day [the most boring and hard going job] because I wasn't "trained" for the counter, "So says Margaret" [Margaret = Manager].
BULL SHIT. I spent my entire shift yesterday at the counter. Serving customers, making fun of them...etc.
Then she kept getting me to do these pissy little jobs, that she could've done, but she'd rather get me to do them while she stood and talked to customers. [not serve them].
Seriously...She just stood and talked to them, and when they were finally ready to buy something...She would send them away to someone else.
Then at the end of the night...I had SO much to do.
I had to refill the developer.
I had to refil the printer
I had to count up 3 sheets of prints
I had to clean down the machine
I had to count money.

I ask for one tiny bit of help from someone, anyone.
"Can someone run upstairs and fill the can with water please?" [don't think actual juice can. think watering can....ish]
She said, and I quote "You have half an hour before the shop closes...You do it"
I was actually so ready to wind up and smack her in the mouth at that very point.

Ok, and the managers not much better.
I told her when I started
"DON'T rota me on for Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, I CAN'T work them." [I made up a bullshit reason]
Well, she's tried chancing it the past few weeks, but I've always told her "NO!"
Well, she's rota'd me on for Tomorrow [Monday].
Then next week she's rota'd me on all three days I said I can't.
...Cow?

I had plans for tomorrow, with Claire...Which I now have to break so I can go ahead and tell the cow that I quit. And tell her exactly WHY I quit.
And if she says anything about "Working my two weeks notice" I'm gonna slap her with a sardine sandwhich and scream at her
"YOU DON'T KNOW THE LAW".
She really doesn't.
....Really doesn't.

asilent_youth @ 2006-08-03T23:00:00

2006-08-03T22:07:45Z

Some people are so fucking stupid it makes me angry.
Honestly.

And some people are so god-damned IGNORANT, it's not worth getting angry over.
"I haven't seen you in ages - !"
"Ok...lets do something next week"

...IG-FUCKING-NORED.
Well then. I'm suck of trying to be nice to you.
Your a fucking TART and the reason people have abortions.

And deviantART just makes me beyond angry now-a-days.

Where people take myspace photo's of themselves, like THIS get thousands of comments, deviantWATCHES and favourites than talanted artists like THIS.
Some people would'nt know true art if it came up on them and took a dump on their chests

Song!

2006-07-29T19:44:10Z

Ok, so I pretty much started to write this during a slow day at work.
It's a little song to pass the time. It's called Glister and Guttors.
Copyrighted to A Drink For Your Daughter.

When you sneak from your room at 4am
And your lying in the guttor
Praying that the bleak turns clear
And you put your head in your hands
Wishing the boat man won't come near
And you can still feel the broken sky
it's moving above you, closing around you
And the cold air feels soathing
Against the salt tasting tears
And when it turns 6am, and your still lying in the guttor
So low down you don't look like anything other
Than a forgotten king fallen of his throne
And you pray for the chemicals
So your eyes will glister like the stars did
And the skies close up for the night
Your now staring into the sun
Thinking about the time your mother sang to you
And then the morning bells rang to wake up
The day dreaming, over thrown king
Then it turns 7am and you have to get up to work.
You slink off back to the your chambers
and you think of what you thought about
while the stars glistered
And the guttor gripped your entire body
And didn't want to let go until you were ready to retire to it

asilent_youth @ 2006-07-28T22:56:00

2006-07-28T22:14:55Z

Known as: The Kid With The Chemicals
Lives in: A world where not only the leaves fall
Birthday: 22121987
Shoe size: 9
Hair color: Blonde, soon to go back to dark
Eye color: Blue

* section 2 - have you ever... *

Cheated on someone?: Once.
Been Cheated on?: Yeah.
Fallen off the bed?: Yeah
Broken someones heart?: Apparantly
Had a dream come true?: In some way.
Done something you regret?: Kellianne...HAR.
Cheated on a test?: No

* section 3 - currently *

Wearing: a skin I'm not comfertable in
Listening to? Nothing
Located?: Living room.
Chatting with?: Myself
Watching? My life being lived by someone else
Should REALLY be doing?: Probably sleeping

* section 5 - the last person you... *

Hugged?: Sarah
Kissed?: Sarah
IMed?: Ehm...S'Been a while.
Talked on the phone: Sarah, last night
Yelled at?: My dad, this morning

* section 6 - personal *

What do you want to be when you grow up?: A next door neighbour no one knows
What comes first in your life?: A lot before myself
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush?: I have the best girlfriend
What are you most scared of?: Losing the chemicals.
Have you lost someone you really loved?: Yes.
How many times have you fallen in love?: Once.
Love your friends?: The few I have, I do

* section 7 - favorite at the moment*

Movie: Walk The Line
Store: HMV, Virgin, Forbidden Planet, That other comic store in Glasgow
Relative: My Aunt Dolly
Sport: Ehm...?
Ice Cream Flavor: Vanilla, for the versatility
Fruit: Banana
Candy: Skittles
Day of the Week: Monday, Wednesday, Friday
Color: Black, purple, Pink
Name for a Girl: Cherry
Name for a Boy: Nero

* section 8 - do you *

Like to give hugs?: Yes
Like to give kisses? Only to Sarah
Like to walk in the rain?: One of my favourite things to ever do
Like to travel?: Not overly
Have a goldfish?: No
Have stuffed animals?: Yea.

*section 9 - what do you think about... *

Suicide:If you don't think you deserve to live, maybe you shouldnt.
Smoking: Pointless
Eating disorders: "i'm buelemic"......"...You can see the future?"
Summer: Supposibly it's meant to be a break

* section 10 - this or that *

Pierced nose or tongue?: Tongue
MTV or BET?: MTV.
7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek?: ~~Saddle~~ Dawson's Creek
Sugar or salt?: Suger
Silver or gold?: Silver
Chocolate or flowers: Flowers.
Color or Black-and-white photos?: It all depends
Stay up late or sleep in? Both..?
Mustard or ketchup?: Ketchup.
Wonder or amazement?: Wonder.
Mexican or Italian: Italian.
Candy or Soda?: Soda
Pepsi or Coke?: Pepsi

survey says....

last cigarette: Never ever.
last kiss: About 3 hours ago
last cry: Today
last movie seen: Good Will Hunting
last cuss word uttered: "Fuck" I was singing along with a song
last beverage drank: Pepsi Max [ugh]
last food consumed: Ehm...Chip Roll. It was rather un-nice
last time showered: Yesterday.
last shoes worn: Slipper Vans.
last cd played: Bright Eyes = Fevers And Mirrors [greatest album ever.]
last annoyance: Moth.
last soda drank: Pepsi
last thing written: "pepsi"
Handwritten: I can't remember. Probably lyrics to "Fat"
last words spoken: I haven't spoken in about 3 hours...Probably "bye" to Sarah
last time amused: When Sarah got a fright
last time wanting to die: We don't answer questions like that
last time in love: Right now

A very sexy sexy man

2006-07-24T22:08:27Z

So Jason from Saddle-Creek emailed me today.
And he told me the best news I've ever ever heared, in YEARS, heared.

That Bright Eyes
Will be in
The United Kingdom
in 2007.
I know it will probably be something like next summer or something.

But dude....I honestly love Bright Eyes like you have no clue.
And I will die happy when I see them.
Thats right...WHEN.

I can't, NOT see this band. If they don't come upto Scotland, I will go to England.
If every show gets sold out, I will whore ebay.
If ebay is a dead end, I will go to the venue just out of hopes of scalpers
If thats STILL a dead end.
I will sneak in.

I WILL see this band.

xxxx

"Hi, Charlie,
Long time no speak. But I thought you should know that Bright Eyes ( ! ) will be in the UK in 2007.
Will probably see you there.

Jason.

PS: New Bright Eyes CD out in October called "Noise Floor"

asilent_youth @ 2006-07-14T23:54:00

2006-07-14T23:07:56Z

1. WHAT CURSE WORD D0 Y0U USE THE M0ST?
I rarely use the big 3.

2. D0 YOU 0WN AN IP0D?
Cunty cunt ass stealing thieves

3. WH0 ON Y0UR MYSPACE "T0P 8" D0 Y0U TALK T0 THE M0ST?
Manga,and I've lately been writing a lot to Harri

4. WHAT TIME IS Y0UR ALARM CL0CK SET F0R?
Lot's of different times. Gets changed pending what day it is

5. H0W MANY SUITCASES DO YOU OWN?
None...

6. DO YOU WEAR FLIP FLOPS WHEN ITS COLD?
I don't even own flip flops. Fun game tho.

7. W0ULD Y0U RATHER TAKE THE PICTURE 0R BE IN THE PICTURE?
Take.

8. WHAT WAS THE LAST M0VIE Y0U WATCHED?
Ehm...Can't remember

9. D0 ANY OF Y0UR FRIENDS HAVE CHILDREN?
I don't think so.

10. HAS ANY0NE EVER CALLED Y0U LAZY?
Cha

11. D0 YOU EVER TAKE MEDICATI0N T0 HELP YOU SLEEP?
No

12. WHAT CD IS CURRENTLY IN Y0UR CD PLAYER?
Do I own a CD player? Last CD I listened to was Motion Sickness - Bright Eyes

13. D0 Y0U PREFER REGULAR 0R CHOCOLATE MILK?
Regular

14. HAS ANY0NE T0LD Y0U A SECRET THIS WEEK?
Yeah

15. DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR ANYONE?
Yeah

16. CAN Y0U WHISTLE?
No.

17. WH0 WAS THE LAST PERS0N Y0U TALKED T0 ON THE PH0NE?
Uhm...My mum

18. D0 YOU THINK PE0PLE TALK AB0UT Y0U BEHIND YOUR BACK?
I hope so

19. DID Y0U WATCH CARTO0NS AS A CHILD?
As a child? I'm not a child anymore and I still do.

where's 20?

21. ARE Y0U SHY AR0UND THE 0PPOSITE 0R SAME SEX?
Same sex. Guys make me feel uneasy, cept from one or two guys.

22. WHAT M0VIE D0 YOU KNOW EVERY LINE TO?
Phantom Of The Opera, Nightmare before Christmas

23. D0 YOU 0WN ANY BAND T-SHIRTS?
yeahr

24. WHAT IS Y0UR FAV0RITE SALAD DRESSING?
Ehm...?

25. IS ANY0NE IN LOVE WITH Y0U?
My love for Sarah is mutual.

26. DO YOU DO YOUR OWN DISHES?
Sometimes

27. EVER CRY IN PUBLIC?
Sure

28. ARE Y0U 0N A DESKT0P COMPUTER 0R A LAP TOP?
Laptop

29. ARE Y0U CURRENTLY WANTING ANY PIERCINGS 0R TATTO0S?
Yep

30. WHATS THE WEATHER LIKE?
Dark and warm

31. W0ULD Y0U EVER DATE S0ME0NE C0VERED IN TATTOOS?
Don't see why not...?

32. WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE THIS?
Watching Law And Order, but it's one I seen last night

and 33?

34. H0W MANY H0URS OF SLEEP D0 YOU NEED TO FUNCTION?
I can function on no sleep at times. I usually do.

35. D0 Y0U EAT BREAKFAST DAILY?
no, unless I'm at Manga's...She force feeds me

36. ARE Y0UR DAYS FULL AND FAST PACED?
No

or 37?

38. D0 Y0U USE SARCASM?
Nope

39. H0W 0LD WILL Y0U BE TURNING ON Y0UR NEXT BIRTHDAY?
19...Which reminds me. Small gathering of intimate friends at mine on my birthday. Black Tie Event.

40. ARE Y0U PICKY AB0UT SPELLING AND GRAMMAR?
GrammerNazi

41 and 42?

43. D0 YOU GET AL0NG BETTER WITH THE SAME SEX 0R THE OPPOSITE SEX?
opposite

44. D0 Y0U LIKE MUSTARD?
ew

45. D0 Y0U SLEEP 0N Y0UR SIDE, ST0MACH OR BACK?
Depends.
Rarely sleep now-a-days

46. D0 Y0U WATCH THE NEWS?
Sometimes

47. ONE OF YOUR SCARS? HOW DID YOU GET IT?
IT'S THE REASON I WEAR BRACELETS...eh-hem. Surgery

48. WH0 WAS THE LAST PERS0N T0 MAKE Y0U MAD?
Father.
I've conviniced him I'm gay with Blair.

49. D0 YOU LIKE ANYB0DY?
Obvorz.

50. WHY DID Y0U D0 THIS SURVEY?
Because I touched myself and didn't like it.

Probably my last update for a while.
Nothing to talk about, plus I'm still fucked over the whole Jude thing, and only around 3 of you seem to care.
So I'm not going to waste your time.

*salute*

You can illistrate this life in romance...ROFLMAO

2006-06-28T00:55:24Z

Hai [insert your name]

The last couple of days have been ^nice. Spent them with mai Sarah.

Today was a lot of fun,_altho, looking back on it, we didn't really do all that much.

Highlites of today:

-Livingston to get pictures and so Sarah can get her eyes tested [Blind as a bat]
-Getting severely mocked on the bus [pffft]
-Yu-Gi-Oh duel after noodles [I won, as always]....[I never lose a duel]
-Giving Sarahs MSI signed, Dolly, Jessicka, a mohawk.
-Painting Sarah up to look like Tairrie B.
-Sleeeeeping [We ALWAYS sleep]
-Watching Rebel Without A Cause [Jimmy Dean = LEGEND]

My eyes really hurt right now. And my nose is killing me.
I had to get pictures taken today for my college bus pass and Bursary stuff. I looked ^haggard as hell. I really hate the photo's, but am I hell paying £4 for new photo's. It's only my bus pass anyway, but daaamn, I look a mess.

Oh man, Yesterday, I found out I'm going to see My Ruin. lol. Hardly even heared any of their stuff before, but Sarahs friend cancelled so she had a spare ticket and no way to get home. So my sister saved the day. She's so nice, I love her when she does nice things.

Nicola: I derno if you still like My Ruin...~~_{Or if you dropped them when you dropped your spikey necklace...?}~~
But I think you should be jealous anyway.

Sarah made me this delicious My Ruin mixed CD today to get into the mood and learn some lyrics before the gig. It is, like I stated before...Delicious.
I reeeeally like the song, "Miss Ann Thrope".

I'm going to the computer store tomorrow to see if my computer screen is Salvageable and how much it will cost to get fixed.
_{The bad thing is tho}; ^{I don't know if my room will still be getting re-decorated after this. Because if It can't get fixed, it will have to get replaced.}But all in all. I don't think my room will be getting re-decorated.
But if I had to choose between my precious computer, with thousands of photos of _things/events/^people I don't want to lose.

Anyway, it's late and I have a lot of reading to do.

G'night all.

Love
Charlay - XX

asilent_youth @ 2006-06-26T00:18:00

2006-06-25T23:32:47Z

Dear [your name]

My hayfever is total ^{out of control}.
I was in such a bad condition today when me and Sarah were walking back from Tesco.
And even after I got home, I was still in _agony. I was seriously ^sneezing and _sniffingeverywhere.
And my head hurt x92084.4
So Sarah promptly gave me iboprofen. _{It didn't work tho}.

I fear that I'm going to need to get hayfever medicine. But I ^HATE taking medicine.
I don't even think it works too well, _personally. But I'd rather take medicine than be in the condition I was in today.
My throat is also really really sore and wheezy and I'm in pretty much agony for 90% of the time I'm awake.

_Sighmoan^bitch

Forever_Love

Charlay - XX

Photography, missing me and poem

2006-06-25T00:48:58Z

Dear [insert your name]

I got accepted to college to study photography!
I know it's only ^WLC, but a whole lot of people applied.

And I got in.

Which must mean I show definate promise in the art of Photography.

I have T^{-Minus 2 years and counting} to work on my drawing abilities now If I want to make it to the ECA.

UPDATE: My computer is still broken.
If your missing me peoples, you know I'm only a phone call away.
If you don't have my number. EMAIL ME <- click
And I'll give it to you

Charlay - XX

-write about me sometime-

Sitting in the game room
Seeing everyone echange gifts
And seeing them looking happilly merry
Durinng the time of year your supposed to be
I walk up to her
With the gift that meant so much
Not just to her, but more to me
Because it symbalises every meaning of the word
"beautiful"
nothing will mean more to me
than to see her eyes light up
And to bend down and hear
"i love you"
Even though its only a friend way
It was the best gift ever
But there was more...
She leads me up to her room
Pulls back her covers to reveal something amazing
A typewriter...
With a brand new ribbon, a brand new owner
And ready to have a whole lot of meaning poured into it
I read the sheet of paper in it
"Write about me sometime"

asilent_youth @ 2006-06-22T14:20:00

2006-06-22T13:46:04Z

Dear [your name]

So today I was carrying my laptop over from my desk to my chair...right?
Well...Seeing as my desk is under my bunk...I go to stand up..^{A bit early},
Cause I do that about 5 times a day.
Well, this time was a bad time to do it.

I stand up, smack my head...natural instinct kicks in
So I grab my head...
_{Drop my computer.}
The Damage isn't as bad as you may think.
The keyboard just needs to be reattached.
But I need a brand new screen.

So while it's getting fixed. I'll need to use my parent's computer.
Which doesn't have MSN. So I guess all I'll be using the computer for is to check myspace and livejournal.
I may even be on AIM from time to time.
And this computer doesn't have my new AIM screenname.
So I'll need to use my old one:
xmrazorbladex

UPDATE: _{Warantee doesn't cover accidental damage.
So who knows if I'll even get my computer fixed
Knowing my parents, I'm sure they won't want to dish out a few bucks for a new screen for me}.

Thanks for reading

Charlay -xx

asilent_youth @ 2006-06-21T01:06:00

2006-06-21T00:39:33Z

Dear [your name]

It was a rather eventful day.
_{But in a "not done anything" way.}

I woke up, ^{as most people do},
I went into Bathgate, to ask about my glasses getting fixed.
Well...Apparantly the spring in the leg is broken. So they'll need to send my glasses off to get fixed.
But then she came out with "It'll cost around £25".
So I couldn't.
On the way home, I was thinking to myself, "Wait...I'm a full time student...It shouldn't cost me anything..."
So I'ma give them to my dad to take in on Thursday and get it sorted, properly.

Well...Afterwards, cousin Adrian came round.
"Your a big Alexis fan, eh?"
"...Yeah"
"You know Georges lyrics to most songs...eh?"
"...Yeah"
"C'mon"
"Where?"
"With me"

And I ended up filling in for his bands screamer.
KILLED my throat since I haven't screamed properly, like for a band, In ^over a year.
Will have to train my throat to scream again tho. ADFYD have decided to go post hardcore/electronica style.
_{[Like a pussified Enter Shikari...?]}

Well...Not nice news coming up.
So click the unhappy face if you want to read about my sudden bout of sad-ness...
Or just go to the "Mood:" and "music:" part.

Ah...you click the unhappy face.

Hm..The reason for the unhappy face...
When i clicked onto Nicola's LJ...I noticed she still had my very first LJ ~~[Kellianne Days].~~
And I thought I would click it and laugh at myself.
Well...I kept reading references like; "Jude: The Bitch {Judy} told my dad.."...etc
And "She had no fucking right to do that. What a complete COW."
I just started to feel horrible for the way she got treated.
^{I know}...She wasn't an angel. _{Far from it}. And I had right to be angry
But after everything we had been through...I should've given her at least one more chance.
And no matter how often she tried...I didn't care. I just kept thinking of that one time she was fucked up.
And I couldn't bring myself to forgive her.

I just felt like, not only a bad friend...but an alround HORRIBLE person.

Thanks for reading.

Charlay - xx

To whom it may concern

2006-06-19T21:46:55Z

Dear all,

My name is Charlay.
I'm a typical ^eighteen year old.

I class myself as an artist, even though most probably _wouldn't.

I am like a pregnant lady ^99% of the time. Emotional to fuck.
That doesn't mean I'm _constantly sad.
I just feel things a lot more.

This journal will remained UNLOCKED
Unless I have a really _personal entry.
and I will only add my real true friends.
But don't feel bad if your on my old one
And not my new one.
Most people aren't.
But these people have been with me thru a lot.

But add me anyway
Show interest in my life

And I will eventually re add you

Peace and hearts

Charlay - xx